Kurenai’s Web
by Nightrain and Brownstone
Summary: Based on “Charlotte’s Web”. Gaara was once a pet pig, but now lives in a barn. He’s bored and lonely until he meets Kurenai, a spider who also lives in the barn. This is the charming tale of how friendship can be found in the most unlikely of places.
1. Before Breakfast

Disclaimer: I do not own _Naruto_ or _Charlotte's Web_. They belong to Masashi Kishimoto and E.B. White, respectively.

A/N: Heya folks! N & B here. I'm taking yet another break from my usual fics and decided to put up a parody of the famous children's classic, _Charlotte's Web_. Just so you know, this is a word-for-word parody- that means; almost everything here is from the book. The only difference is that the characters' names have been switched to those of the characters from _Naruto_. Just to warn you, the characters in this fic will be rather OOC. Now on with the show!

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Kurenai's Web

_Before Breakfast_

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"Where's Father going with that ax?" Hinata asked her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.

"Out to the pigpen," replied Mrs. Hyuuga. "Some pigs were born last night."

"I don't see why he needs an ax," remarked Hinata, who was only eight.

"Well," said her mother. "One of the pigs is a runt. It's very small and weak, and it will never amount to anything. So your father has decided to do away with it."

"Do _away_ with it?" gasped Hinata. "You mean _kill_ it? Just because it's smaller than the others?"

"Don't yell, Hinata!" said Mrs. Hyuuga, putting a pot of tea on the table. "Your father is right. The pig would probably die anyway."

Hinata pushed a chair out of the way and ran outdoors. The grass was wet and the earth smelled of springtime. Hinata's sneakers were sopping wet by the time she caught up with her father.

"Please don't kill it," she sobbed. "It's unfair."

Mr. Hyuuga stopped walking.

"Hinata," he said gently. "You will have to learn to control yourself."

"Control myself?" Hinata yelled. "This is a matter of life and death, and you talk about _controlling_ myself!" Tears ran down her cheeks as she took hold of the ax and tried to pull it out of her father's hand.

"Hinata," said Mr. Hyuuga. "I know more about raising a litter of pigs than you do. A weakling makes trouble. Now run along!"

"But it's unfair," cried Hinata. "That pig could help being born small, could it? If _I_ had been very small at birth, would you have killed _me_?"

Mr. Hyuuga smiled. "Certainly not," he said, looking down at his daughter with love. "But this is different. A little girl is one thing; a little runty pig is another."

"I see no difference," Hinata persisted, still hanging onto the ax. "This is the most terrible case of injustice I have ever heard of."

A queer look came over Hiashi Hyuuga's face. He seemed almost ready to cry himself.

"All right," he said. "You go back to the house and I'll bring the runt when I come in. I'll let you start it on a bottle like a baby. Then you'll see what trouble a pig can be."

When Mr. Hyuuga returned to the house half an hour later, he carried a carton under his arm. Hinata was upstairs changing her sneakers. The kitchen table was set for breakfast, and the room smelled of tea, porridge, damp plaster, and wood smoke from the stove.

"Put it on her chair," said Mrs. Hyuuga. Mr. Hyuuga set the carton down at Hinata's place. He then walked to the sink, washed his hands, and dried them on the roller towel.

Hinata slowly descended from the stairs. Her eyes were red from crying. As she approached her chair, the carton wobbled, and there was a scratching noise. Hinata looked at her father questioningly. She then opened the cardboard box. There inside, looking up at her was the newborn pig. It was a white one with two dark markings around its eyes and a tuft of red hair on its tail. The morning light shone through its ears, turning them pink.

"He's yours," said Mr. Hyuuga. "Saved from an untimely death. And may the good Lord forgive me for this foolishness."

Hinata couldn't take her eyes off the tiny pig. "Oh," she whispered. "Oh, _look_ at him! He's absolutely perfect."

She closed the carton carefully. First, she kissed her father, and then she kissed her mother. She opened the lid again, lifted the pig out, and held it against her cheek. At this moment her brother Neji came into the room. Neji was nine. He was heavily armed- an air rifle in one hand, and a wooden dagger in the other.

"What's that?" he demanded. "What's Hinata got?"

"She's got a guest for breakfast," said Mrs. Hyuuga. "Wash your hands and face, Neji!"

"Let's see it!" exclaimed Neji, setting his gun down and peering over at the pig. "You call that miserable thing a pig? That's a _fine_ specimen of a pig- It's no bigger than a white rat."

Mrs. Hyuuga sighed exasperatedly. "Wash up and eat your breakfast, Neji! The school bus will be along in half an hour!"

"Hey Dad, can I have a pig too?" Neji asked eagerly.

"No, I only distribute pigs to early risers," said Mr. Hyuuga. "Hinata was up at daylight, trying to rid the world of injustice. As a result, she now has a pig. A small one to be sure, but nevertheless a pig. It just goes to show what can happen if a person gets out of bed promptly. Let's eat!"

But Hinata couldn't eat until her pig had had a drink of milk. Mrs. Hyuuga found a baby's nursing bottle. She poured warm milk into the bottle, screwed the cap in place and handed it to Hinata. "Here's his breakfast!" she said cheerily.

A minute later, Hinata was seated on the floor in the corner of the kitchen with her infant between her knees, teaching it to suck from the bottle. The pig, although tiny, had a good appetite and caught on quickly.

Suddenly, the school bus honked from the road.

"Run!" commanded Mrs. Hyuuga, taking the pig from Hinata, and slipped a rice ball into her daughter's hand. Neji grabbed his book bag and another rice ball.

The children ran out to the road and climbed into the bus. Hinata took no notice of the others in the bus. She just sat and stared out the window, thinking what a blissful world it was and how lucky she was to have the entire charge of a pig. By the time the bus had reached the school, Hinata had named her pet, selecting the most beautiful name she could think of.

"Its name is Gaara," she whispered to herself.

She was still thinking about the pig when Mr. Umino, the teacher said, "Hinata, what is the capital of the Land of Spring?"

"Gaara," Hinata dreamily replied. The pupils giggled. Hinata blushed.

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A/N: Well, this is my fist parody in a while. And yes, here in this story, Neji is Hinata's **brother**, and there is no existence of Hanabi or Hizashi. Before you go ranting off about not following the character relationships of Naruto, I'd like to remind you that this is a _parody, written for fun_. And if you have read the original story, I'm not plagiarizing either. I actually own a copy of _Charlotte's Web_ and thought it would be fun to make an accurate retelling of the story using _Naruto_ characters.

Happy reading!

N & B


	2. Gaara

A/N: Hey y'all. Here's an update. Enjoy!

Warning: OOC factor is very high.

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Kurenai's Web

_Gaara_

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Hinata loved Gaara more than anything. She loved to stroke him, feed him, and put him to bed. Every morning as soon as she got up, she warmed his milk, tied his bib on, and held the bottle for him. Every afternoon, when the school bus stopped in front of her house, she jumped out and ran straight to the kitchen to fix another bottle for him. She fed him again right after dinnertime, and again just before bedtime. Mrs. Hyuuga gave him a feeding around noontime each day, when Hinata was away in school.

Gaara loved his milk, and was never happier when Hinata was warming up a bottle for him. He would stand up and gaze at her with adoring eyes.

For the first few days of his life, Gaara was allowed to live in a box near the kitchen stove. When Mrs. Hyuuga complained, he was moved to a bigger box in the woodshed.

At two weeks of age, he was moved outdoors. It was cherry blossom time, and the days were getting warmer. Mr. Hyuuga had fenced up a section of the yard especially for Gaara under an apple tree, and gave him a large wooden box full of straw, with a doorway cut in it so he could walk in and out as he pleased.

"Won't he be cold at night?" asked Hinata.

"No," her father replied. "You watch and see what he does."

Carrying a bottle of milk, Hinata sat beneath the apple tree in the yard. Gaara ran to her and she held the bottle while he sucked. When he had finished the last drop, he grunted and walked sleepily into the box. Hinata peered through the door to see Gaara poking the straw with his snout. In a short time, he had dug a tunnel in the straw. He crawled into the tunnel and disappeared from sight, the straw concealing him.

Hinata was enchanted. It relieved her mind to know that her baby would sleep, covered up and warm.

Every morning after breakfast, Gaara walked out to the road with Hinata and wait with her until the bus arrived. She would wave goodbye at him, and watch the bus until it vanished around a turn.

While Hinata was in school, Gaara was fenced in his yard. But as soon as she got home in the afternoon, she would take him out and he would follow her around the place. If she went into the house, Gaara went too. If she went upstairs, Gaara would wait at the bottom step until she came down again. If she took her doll for a walk in the doll carriage, Gaara followed along.

Sometimes on these journeys, Gaara would get tired, and Hinata would pick him up and put him in the carriage alongside the doll. He liked this. And if he was _very_ tired, he would close his eyes and go to sleep under the doll's blanket. He looked cute when his eyes were closed, because his lashes were so long. The doll would close her eyes too, and Hinata would wheel the carriage very slowly and smoothly so as not to wake her infants.

One warm afternoon, Hinata and Neji went down to the brook for a swim. Gaara tagged along at Hinata's heels. When she waded in the brook, Gaara waded in with her. He found the water cold- too cold for his liking. So while the children swam, played, and splashed water at each other, Gaara amused himself in the mud along the edge of the brook, where it was warm, moist, and delightfully sticky and oozy.

Every day was a happy day, and every night was peaceful.

Now Gaara was what farmers called a spring pig, which simply meant that he was born in the springtime. When he was five weeks old, Mr. Hyuuga said he was now big enough to sell, and would have to be sold. Hinata broke down and wept, but her father was firm about it. Gaara's appetite had increased. He was beginning to eat food scraps in addition to milk, and Mr. Hyuuga was no longer willing to provide for him. He had already sold Gaara's brother and sister.

"He's got to go, Hinata," he said. "You've had your fun raising a baby pig, but Gaara is not a baby any longer and he has got to be sold."

"Call up the Naras," suggested Mrs. Hyuuga. "Your Uncle Shikaku sometimes raises a pig. And if Gaara goes there to live, you can walk down the road and visit him as often as you like."

Hinata turned a teary gaze to her parents. "How much money should I ask for him?"

"Well, said her father, rubbing his chin. "He _is_ a runt. Tell your Uncle Shikaku you've got a pig you'll sell for six hundred ryos, and see what he says."

It was soon arranged. Hinata phoned and got her Aunt Yoshino, and her Aunt Yoshino hollered for Uncle Shikaku, and Uncle Shikaku came in from the barn, grumbling about troublesome women, and talked to Hinata.

The next day, Gaara was taken from his home under the apple tree and went to live in a manure pile in the cellar of Nara's barn.

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A/N: Yeah… I've twisted the character relations a bit. Here, I made Hinata somewhat related to the Nara family. I'm not sure whether it should be that her mother is related to Shikaku or Yoshino, but the main point is that they're related.

Also the world portrayed here is an AU, except that their form of currency is still the ryo.

Let me know what you think.

N & B


	3. Escape

A/N: Here's a new chapter. And just so you know, everybody is extremely OOC.

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Kurenai's Web

_Escape_

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The barn was very large. It was very old. It smelled of hay, and it smelled of manure. It smelled of the perspiration of tired horses and the wonderful breath of patient cows. It often had a sort of peaceful smell- as though nothing bad in the world could ever happen again. It smelled of grain, harness dressing, axle grease, rubber boots, and new rope. Whenever the cat was given a fish head to eat, the barn would smell of fish. But mostly, it smelled of hay, for there was always hay up in the great loft overhead, and there was always hay being pitched over to the cows, horses, and sheep.

The barn was pleasantly warm in winter when the animals spent most of their time indoors, and it was pleasantly cool in the summer when the big doors stood wide open in the breeze.

The barn had stalls on the main floor for the horses, tie-ups on the main floor for the cows, a sheepfold down below for the sheep, and a pigpen down below for Gaara.

It was full of all sorts of things the one would find in barns: ladders, grindstones, pitchforks, monkey wrenches, scythes, lawn mowers, snow shovels, ax handles, milk pails, water buckets, empty grain sacks, and rusty rat traps.

It was the kind of barn that swallows liked to build their nests in. It was the kind of barn that children liked to play in. And the whole thing was owned by Hinata's uncle, Mr. Shikaku Nara.

Gaara's new home was located in the barn cellar, directly underneath the cows. Mr. Nara knew that a manure pile was a good place to keep a young pig. Pigs needed warmth, and it was warm and comfortable down there in the barn cellar's south side.

Hinata came almost every day to visit Gaara. She found an old, discarded milking stool and placed in the sheepfold next to Gaara's pen. Here, she sat during long afternoons, thinking, listening, and watching Gaara.

The sheep soon got to know her. So did the geese, Nagato and Konan, who lived with the sheep. All the animals trusted her because she was so quiet and friendly.

Mr. Nara did not allow Hinata to take Gaara out, nor did he allow her to go into the pigpen; but he told Hinata that she could sit on the stool and watch Gaara for as long as she liked. It made happy just to be near the pig, and it made Gaara happy to know that she was sitting there, right outside his pen. But he never had any fun- no walks, no rides, no swims.

One afternoon in June, when Gaara was almost two months old, he wandered out into his small yard outside the barn. Hinata had not arrived for her usual visit, and Gaara stood in the sun, feeling bored and lonely.

'_There's never anything to do around here_,' he thought. He slowly walked to his food trough and sniffed to see if anything had been overlooked at lunch. He found a small strip of potato skin and ate it. His back itched, so he leaned against the fence and rubbed it against the boards. When he tired of this, he went indoors and climbed to the top of the manure pile and sat down. He didn't feel sleepy, and he didn't feel like digging. He was tired of standing still, and he was tired of lying down.

"I'm less than two months old and I'm tired of living," he said. He walked out into the yard again. "When I'm out here, there's no place to go but in. And when I'm indoors, there's no place to go but out in the yard."

"That's where you're wrong, my friend, my friend," said a voice.

Gaara looked through the fence and saw Konan the goose standing there.

"You don't have to stay in that dirty-little dirty-little dirty-little yard," said Konan, who talked rather fast. "One of the boards is loose. Push on it, push-push-push on it, and come on out!"

"What?" said Gaara. "Say it slower!"

"At-at-at the risk of repeating myself," said Konan. "I suggest you come on out. It's wonderful out here."

"Did you say a board was loose?"

"That I did, that I did," said the goose.

Gaara walked up to the fence and saw that Konan was right- one board was loose. He put his head down, shut his eyes and pushed. The board gave way and Gaara found himself standing in the long grass outside his yard. Konan chuckled.

"How does it feel to be free?" she asked.

"I like it," said Gaara. "That is, I _guess_ I like it." Actually, Gaara felt queer to be outside his fence, with nothing between him and the big world.

"Where do you think I should go?" he asked.

"Anywhere you like, anywhere you like," Konan replied. "Go down through the orchard, root up the sod! Go down through the garden, dig up the radishes! Root up everything! Eat grass! Look for corn! Look for rice! Run all over! Skip and dance, jump and prance! Go down through the orchard and stroll through the woods! The world is a wonderful place when you're young."

"I can see that," said Gaara. He jumped in the air, twirled, ran a few steps, stopped, looked all around, sniffed the smells of the afternoon, and then set off walking down through the orchard. Pausing in the shade of an apple tree, he pushed his strong snout into the ground and began pushing, digging, and rooting. He felt very happy.

He had plowed up quite a bit of ground before anyone had noticed him. Mrs. Nara was the first to see him. She spotted from the kitchen window, and immediately shouted for the men.

"Shika-_kooo_!" she cried. "Pig's out! Kakashi! Pig's out! Shikaku! Kakashi! Pig's out, He's down there under that apple tree."

'_Now the trouble starts_,' thought Gaara. '_Now I'll catch it_.'

Konan heard the racket, and she too started hollering. "Run-run-run downhill, make for the woods, the woods!" she instructed. "They'll never-never-never catch you in the woods!"

Pakkun the pudgy pug heard the commotion and ran out from the barn to join the chase. Mr. Nara heard and ran out of the machine shed where he was mending a tool. Kakashi, the hired man, heard the noise and came up from the asparagus patch where he was pulling weeds. Everybody waked towards Gaara, and Gaara didn't know what to do. The woods seemed a long way off, he had never been down there before, and he wasn't sure he would like it there.

"Get around behind him, Kakashi," said Mr. Nara. "Drive him towards the barn! And take it easy- don't rush him! I'll go and get a bucket of slops."

The news of Gaara's escape spread rapidly among the animals on the place. Whenever any creature broke loose on Nara's ranch, the event was of great interest to the others. Konan shouted to the nearest cow that Gaara was free, and soon all the cows knew. Then one of the cows told one of the sheep, and soon all the sheep knew. The lambs learned it from their mothers, and the horses, in their stalls, pricked up their ears when they heard the goose hollering; and soon the horses had caught on to what was happening.

"Gaara's out," they said. Every animal stirred and lifted its head and became excited to know that one of his friends had gotten free and was no longer penned up or tied fast.

Gaara didn't know what to do or which way to run. It seemed as though everybody was after him. '_If this is what it's like to be free, I believe I'd rather be penned up in my own yard_.'

Pakkun crept on him from one side, Kakashi the hired man was sneaking up to him on the other side. Mrs. Nara stood ready to head him off if he started for the garden; and now Mr. Nara was coming down towards him, carrying a pail. '_This is really awful_,' thought Gaara. '_Why doesn't Hinata come_?' He began to cry.

Konan took command and began to give orders. "Don't just stand there Gaara! Dodge about, Dodge about!" she cried. "Skip around, run towards me, slip in and out, in and out, in and out! Make for the woods! Twist and turn!"

Pakkun prang for Gaara's hind leg. Gaara jumped and ran. Kakashi reached out and grabbed. Mrs. Nara screamed at Kakashi. Konan cheered for Gaara. Gaara dodged between Kakashi's legs. Kakashi missed Gaara and grabbed Pakkun instead.

"Nicely done, nicely done!" squawked Konan. "Try it again, try it again!"

"Run downhill," suggested the cows.

"Run towards me!" yelled Nagato the gander.

Run uphill!" cried the sheep.

"Turn and twist!" honked Konan.

"Jump and dance!" said Genma the rooster.

"Look out for Kakashi!" called the cows.

"Look out for Nara!" yelled Nagato.

"Watch out for Pakkun!" cried the sheep.

"Listen to me, listen to me!" Konan screamed.

Poor Gaara was dazed and frightened by this hullabaloo. He didn't like being the center of all this fuss. He tried to follow the instructions his friends were giving him, but he couldn't run uphill and downhill at the same time; and he couldn't turn and twist when he was jumping and dancing, and he was crying so hard, he could barely see what was happening, After all, Gaara was a very young pig- not much more than a baby, really. He wished Hinata were there to take him in her arms and comfort him.

When he looked up and saw Mr. Nara standing quite close to him, holding a pail of warm slops, he felt relieved. He lifted his nose and sniffed. The smell was delicious- warm milk, potato skins, rice husks, corn flakes, and a piece of eggplant left over from Kakashi's breakfast.

"Come pig!" said Mr. Nara, tapping the pail. "Come pig!"

Gaara took a step towards the pail.

"No-no-no!" cried Konan. "It's the old pail trick, Gaara. Don't fall for it, don't fall for it! He's trying to lure you back into captivity-ivity. He's appealing to your stomach."

Gaara didn't care. The food smelled appetizing. He took another step towards the pail.

"Pig, pig, pig!" said Mr. Nara in a kind voice, and began walking slowly towards the barnyard, looking all about him innocently, as if he didn't know that a little white pig with black eye-rings was following along behind him.

"You'll be sorry-sorry-sorry," Konan warned.

Gaara didn't care. He kept walking towards the pail of slops.

"You'll miss your freedom," honked the goose. "An hour of freedom is worth a barrel of slops."

Gaara didn't care.

When Mr. Nara reached for the pigpen, he climbed over the fence and poured the slops into the trough. He then pulled the loose board away from the fence, so that there was a wide hole for Gaara to walk through.

"Reconsider, reconsider!" Konan cried.

Gaara paid no attention. He stepped through the fence into his yard. He walked to the trough and took a long drink of the slops, sucking in the milk hungrily and chewing the eggplant. It was good to be home again.

While Gaara ate, Kakashi fetched a hammer and some 8-penny nails and nailed the board in place. Then he and Mr. Nara leaned lazily on the fence while Mr. Nara scratched Gaara's back with a stick.

"He's quite a pig," said Kakashi.

"Yes, he'll make a good pig," said Mr. Nara.

Gaara heard the words of praise. He felt the warm milk in his stomach. He felt the pleasant rubbing of the stick on his itchy back. He felt peaceful, happy, and sleepy. It had been a tiring afternoon. It was only about four-o'-clock but Gaara was ready for bed.

'_After all, I'm really too young to go out into the world alone_.'

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A/N: And that concludes this chapter of _Kurenai's Web_. Just so that we're in the clear, these are the following character representations:

Konan- the goose

Nagato a.k.a. Pein- the gander

Genma- the rooster (one-time character only)

Pakkun- the dog

Happy reading!

N & B


	4. Loneliness

A/N: One of the story's angstier chapters, but you know how good novels are- They all have their ups and downs.

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Kurenai's Web

_Loneliness_

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The next day, it was rainy and dark. Rain fell on the roof of the barn and dripped steadily from the eaves. Rain fell in the barnyard and ran in crooked courses down the lane where thistles and pigweed grew. Rain spattered against Mrs. Nara's kitchen windows, and came gushing out of the downspouts. Rain fell on the backs of the sheep as they grazed in the meadow. When the sheep tired of standing in the rain, they slowly walked into up the lane into the field.

Rain upset Gaara's plans. Gaara had planned to go out that day and dig a new hole in his yard. He had other plans, too. His plans for the day went something like this:

_Breakfast at 6:30. Skim milk, bread crusts, dango, bits from stray rice from onigiri, leftover pancakes with drops of maple syrup sticking to them, potato skins, leftover custard pudding with raisins, and bits of Shredded Wheat._

_Breakfast would be finished at seven._

_From seven to eight, Gaara planned to have a talk with Sasuke, the rat that lived under his trough. Talking with Sasuke was not the most interesting occupation in the world, but it was better than nothing._

_From eight to nine, Gaara planned to take a nap outdoors in the sun._

_From nine to eleven, he planned to dig a hole, and possibly find something good to eat buried in the dirt. _

_From eleven to twelve, he planned to stand still and watch flies on the boards, watch the bees among the clover, and the swallows dance in the sky._

_Twelve o' clock- lunchtime. Dango, warm water, apple parings, meat gravy, carrot scrapings, meat scraps, stale noodles, and a piece of nori seaweed. Lunch would be over at one._

_From one to two, Gaara planned to sleep._

_From two to three, he planned to scratch itchy places by rubbing against the fence._

_From three to four, he planned to stand perfectly still and think of what was it like to be alive, and to wait for Hinata._

_Supper would come at four. Skim milk, rice crackers, a leftover sandwich from Kakashi's lunchbox, prune skins, a morsel of this, a bit of that, turnips, marmalade drippings, a little more of this, a little more of that, a piece of baked apple, and a scrap of okonimiyaki._

Gaara had gone to sleep thinking about these plans; but when he woke up and saw the rain, it seemed as though he could not bear it.

"I get everything all beautifully planned out, and it has to go and rain."

For a while, he gloomily stood indoors. Then he walked to the door and looked out. Drops of rain struck his face. His yard was cold and wet. His through had an inch of rainwater in it, and Sasuke was nowhere to be seen.

"Are you out there, Sasuke?" called Gaara.

There was no answer.

Suddenly, Gaara felt lonely and friendless.

"One day just like another," he groaned. "I'm very young, I have no real friends here in the barn, and it's going to rain all day, and Hinata won't come in such bad weather. Oh, _honestly_!" And Gaara was crying again, for the second time in two days.

At 6:30, Gaara heard a thumping sound, as if someone was banging a pail or bucket. Kakashi stood outside in the rain, stirring up breakfast.

"C'mon pig!" Kakashi beckoned.

Gaara did not budge. Kakashi dumped the slops, scraped the pail, and walked away. He noticed that something was wrong with the pig.

Gaara didn't want food, he wanted love. He wanted a friend- someone who would play with him. He mentioned this to Konan, who was sitting quietly in a corner of the sheepfold.

"Will you come over and play with me?" he asked.

"Sorry, sonny, sorry," said Konan. "I'm sitting-sitting on my eggs. Eight of them. Got to keep them toasty-oasty-oasty warm. I have to stay right here. I'm no flibberty-ibberty-gibbet. I don't play when there're eggs to hatch. I'm expecting goslings."

"Well, I didn't think you were expecting woodpeckers," Gaara muttered bitterly.

Next, Gaara tried one of the lambs.

"Will you please play with me?" he asked.

"Certainly not," said the lamb with a sniff. "In the first place, I can't get into your pen, as I'm not old enough to jump over the fence. Secondly, I am not interested in pigs. Pigs mean less than nothing to me."

"What do you mean _less_ than nothing!?" Gaara countered. "I don't think there is such a thing as _less_ than nothing. Nothing is absolutely the limit of nothingness! It's the lowest you can go! It's the end of the line! How can something be less than nothing? If there were something that were less than nothing, then nothing wouldn't be nothing; it would be something- even though it's just a very little bit of something. But if nothing is _nothing_, then nothing has nothing that is less than _it_ is!"

"Oh, be quiet," snapped the lamb. "Go play by yourself. I don't play with pigs."

Sadly, Gaara lay down and listened to the rain. Soon after, he saw the rat climbing down a slanted board that he used as a stairway.

"Will you play with me, Sasuke?" asked Gaara.

"Play?" queried Sasuke, twirling his whiskers. "Play? I hardly know the meaning of the word."

"Well," said Gaara, "it means to have fun, to frolic, to run and skip and make merry."

"I never do those things if I can avoid them," the rat sourly replied. "I prefer to spend my time eating, gnawing, spying, and hiding. I am a glutton, but not a merrymaker. Right now, I'm on my way to your trough to eat your breakfast since you haven't sense enough to eat it yourself." With that, Sasuke the Rat, crept stealthily along the wall and disappeared into a private tunnel that he had dug between the door and the trough in Gaara's yard.

Sasuke was a crafty rat, and he pretty much had things his own way. The tunnel was an example of his skill and cunning. The tunnel enabled him to get from the barn to his hiding place under the pig's trough without coming out into the open. He had tunnels and runways all over Mr. Nara's farm and could get from one place to another without being seen. Usually he slept in the daytime and was active only after dark.

Gaara watched him disappear into his tunnel. In a moment, he saw the rat's sharp nose poke out from underneath the wooden trough. Cautiously, Sasuke pulled himself up over the edge of the trough. This was almost more than Gaara could stand- on this dreary, rainy day to see his breakfast being eaten by somebody else. He knew Sasuke was getting soaked out there in the pouring rain, but even that did not comfort him. Friendless, dejected, and hungry, he threw himself down in the manure and sobbed.

Late in the afternoon, Kakashi went to Mr. Nara. "I think there's something wrong with that pig of yours," he said. "He hasn't touched his food."

"Give him two spoonfuls of sulfur and a little molasses," said Mr. Nara.

Gaara could not believe what was happening to him when Kakashi caught him and forced the medicine down his throat. This was certainly the worst day of his life. He did not know whether how much longer he could endure the awful loneliness.

Darkness settled over everything, Soon, there were only shadows and the noises of the sheep chewing their cud, and the occasional rattle of a cow chain up overhead. One could imagine Gaara's surprise when out of the darkness, came a small voice he had never heard before. It sounded rather thin, but pleasant.

"Do you want a friend, Gaara?" it said. "I'll be a friend to you. I've watched you all day and I like you."

"But I can't see you," said Gaara, jumping to his feet. "Where are you? And _who_ are you?"

"I'm right up here," said the voice. "Go to sleep. You'll see me in the morning,"

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A/N: As I was writing this, I just realized how much this particular chapter ties in with Canon!Gaara's past. He was such a lonely little bugger before he met Naruto and the others. Also, I hope you guys don't mind that I made Sasuke into a rat, namely Templeton. Sasuke **is** the biggest killjoy I know. In fact, I think the stick in his butt is long enough to go through his future descendants to recreate another emo farm.

Anyway, don't forget to R & R!

N & B


	5. Kurenai

A/N: Hello, people! Yes, Kurenai's Web is back after a hiatus of a year. If you are wondering why I never updated it during that timespan, it was because when I left for my study tour, I left my copy of Charlotte's Web in my hometown. So, that's that. Enjoy the update!

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**Kurenai's Web**

_Kurenai_

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The night seemed long. Gaara's stomach was empty and his mind was full. And when the stomach is empty and the mind is full, it is always hard to sleep.

A dozen times during the night Gaara woke and stared into the blackness, listening to the sounds and trying to figure out what time it was. A barn is never perfectly quiet. Even at midnight there is something usually stirring.

The first time he woke, he heard Sasuke gnawing a hole in the grain bin. Sasuke's teeth scraped loudly against the wood and made quite a racket. '_That crazy rat_!' thought Gaara. '_Why does he have to stay up all night, grinding his clashers and destroying people's property? Why can't he go to sleep, like any decent animal_?'

The second time Gaara woke, he heard Konan turning on her nest, and chuckling to herself.

"What time is it?" he whispered to her.

"Probably-obably-obably about half-past eleven," said the goose. "Why aren't you asleep, Gaara?"

"Too many things on my mind," Gaara replied.

"Well," said Konan. "That's not _my_ trouble. I have nothing at all in my mind, but I've too many things under my behind. have you ever tried to sleep while sitting on eight eggs?'

"No," Gaara replied. "I suppose it _is_ uncomfortable. How long does it take for a goose egg to hatch?"

"Approximately-oximately thirty days, all told," Konan answered. "But I cheat a little. On warm afternoons, I just pull a little straw over the eggs and go out for a walk."

Gaara yawned and went back to sleep. In his dreams he again the voice calling, "I'll be a friend to you. Go to sleep- you'll see me in the morning."

About half an hour before dawn, Gaara woke and listened. The barn was still dark. The sheep lay motionless. Even Konan was quiet. Overhead on the main floor, nothing stirred: the cows were resting, the horses dozed. Sasuke had quit work and had gone off somewhere on an errand. The only noise was a slight scraping sound from the rooftop, where the weather-vane swung back and forth. Gaara loved the barn when it was like this- calm and quiet, waiting for light.

'_Day is almost here_,' he thought.

Through a small window, a faint gleam appeared. One by one, the stars went out. Gaara could see Konan a few feet away. She sat with her head tucked under a wing. then he could see the sheep and the lambs. The sky lightened.

'_Oh, beautiful day, it is here at last! Today I shall find my friend_.'

Gaara looked everywhere. He searched his pen thoroughly. He examined the window ledge, and stared up the ceiling. But he saw nothing new. Finally decided he would have to speak up. He hated to break the lovely stillness of the dawn by using his voice, but he could not think of any other way to locate the mysterious new friend who was nowhere to be seen. So Gaara cleared his throat.

"Attention, please!" he called in a loud, firm voice. "Will the party who addressed me at bedtime last night kindly make himself or herself known by giving an appropriate sign or signal!"

Gaara paused and listened. All the other animals lifted their heads and stared at him. Gaara blushed; but he was determined to get in touch with his unknown friend.

"Attention, please!" he said. "I will repeat the message. Will the party who addressed me at bedtime last night kindly speak up. Please tell me where you are, if you are my friend!"

The sheep looked at each other in disgust.

"Stop your nonsense, Gaara!" admonished Chiyo, the oldest sheep. "If you have a new friend here, you are probably disturbing his rest; and the quickest way to spoil a friendship is to wake somebody up in the morning before he is ready. How can you be sure he is an early riser?"

"I beg everyone's pardon," whispered Gaara. "I didn't mean to be objectionable."

"He lay down meekly in the manure, facing the door. He did not know it, but his friend was very near. And Chiyo was right- the friend was still asleep.

Soon Kakashi appeared with slops for breakfast. Gaara rushed out, ate everything in a hurry, and licked the trough. The sheep moved off down the lane, and Nagato, the gander, waddled along behind them, pulling grass. And then, just as Gaara was settling down for his morning nap, he heard again the thin voice that had addressed him the night before.

"Salutations!" said the voice.

Gaara jumped to his feet. "Salu-_what_?" he cried.

"Salutations!" repeated the voice.

"What are _they_, and where are _you_?" screamed Gaara. "Please, _please_ tell me where you are. And what are salutations?"

"Salutations are greetings," explained the voice. "When I say 'salutations', it's just my fancy way of saying hello or good morning. Actually, it's a silly expression, and I am surprised I used it at all. As for my whereabouts, that's easy. Look up here in the corner of the doorway! Here I am. Look, I'm waving!"

At last Gaara saw the creature that had spoken to him in such a kindly way. Stretched across the upper part of the doorway was a big spiderweb, and hanging from the top of the web, head down, was a large, gray spider. She was about the size of a gumdrop. She had eight legs, and she was waving one of them at Gaara in friendly greeting. "See me now?" she asked.

"Oh, yes indeed," said Gaara. "Yes indeed! How are you? Good morning! Salutations! Very pleased to meet you. What is your name, please? May I have your name?"

"My name-" said the spider. "-is Kurenai."

"Kurenai what?" Gaara asked eagerly.

"Kurenai Yuuhi. But just call me Kurenai."

"I think you're beautiful," Gaara complimented.

"Well, I am pretty," replied Kurenai. "There's no denying that. Almost all spiders are rather nice-looking. I'm not as flashy as some, but I'll do. I wish I could see you, Gaara, as clearly as you could see me."

"Why can't you?" asked the pig. "I'm right here."

"Yes, but I'm near-sighted," answered Kurenai. "I've always been dreadfully near-sighted. It's good in some ways. not so good in others. Watch me wrap up this fly."

A fly that had been crawling along Gaara's trough had flown up and blundered into the lower part of Kurenai's web and was tangled in the sticky threads. The fly was beating its wings furiously, trying to break loose and free itself.

"First," said Kurenai. "I dive at him." she plunged headfirst towards the fly. As she dropped, a tiny silken thread unwound from her rear end.

"Next, I wrap him up." She grabbed the fly, threw a few jets of silk around it, and rolled it over and over, wrapping it so that it could not move. Gaara watched in horror. He could hardly believe what he was seeing, and although he detested flies, he was sorry for this one.

"There!" said Kurenai. "Now I knock him out, so he'll be more comfortable." She bit the fly. "He can't feel a thing now," she remarked. "He'll make a perfect breakfast for me."

"You mean you _eat_ flies?" gasped Gaara.

"Certainly. Flies, bugs, grasshoppers, choice beetles, moths, butterflies, tasty cockroaches, gnats, midges, daddy long-legs, centipedes, mosquitoes, crickets- anything that is careless enough to get caught in my web. I have to live, don't I?"

"Why, yes, of course," Gaara stammered. "Do they taste good?"

"Delicious. Of course, I don't really eat them. I drink them- drink their blood. I love blood," said Kurenai, and her pleasant, thin voice grew even thinner and more pleasant.

"Don't say that!" groaned Gaara. "Please don't say things like that!"

"Why not? It's true, and I have to say what is true. I am not entirely happy about my diet of flies and bugs, but it's the way I'm made. A spider has to pick up a living, somehow or the other, and I happen to be a trapper. I just naturally build a web and trap flies and other insects. My mother was a trapper before me. Her mother was a trapper before her. All our family have been trappers. Way back for thousands and thousands of years, we spiders have been laying traps for flies and bugs."

"It's a miserable inheritance," Gaara said, gloomily. He was sad because his new friend was so bloodthirsty.

"Yes, it is," agreed Kurenai. "But I can't help it. I don't know how the first spider in the early days of the world happened to think up this fancy idea of spinning a web, but she did, and it was clever of her, too. And since then, all of us spiders have had to work the same trick. It's not a bad pitch, on the whole."

"It's cruel," replied Gaara, who did not intend to be argued out of his position.

"Well, _you_ can't talk," said Kurenai. "_You_ have your meals brought to you in a pail. Nobody feeds me. I have to be sharp and clever, lest I go hungry. I have to think things out, catch what I can, and take what comes. And it just so happens, my friend, is that what comes are flies, insects, and bugs.

"And _further_more-" she added, shaking one of her legs. "-do you realize that if I didn't catch bugs and eat them, they'd increase and multiply and get so numerous that they'd destroy the earth, wiping out everything?"

"Really?" said Gaara. "I wouldn't want _that_ to happen. Perhaps your web is a good thing after all."

Konan, who had been listening to the conversation, chuckled to herself. '_There are a lot of things Gaara doesn't know about life_,' she thought. '_He's really a very innocent little pig. He doesn't even know what's going to happen to him around Christmastime; he has no idea that Mr. Nara and Kakashi are plotting to kill him_.' She raised herself a bit and poked her eggs a little further under her so that they would receive the full heat from her warm body and soft feathers.

Kurenai stood quietly over the fly, preparing to eat it. Gaara lay down and closed his eyes. He was tired from his wakeful night and from the excitement of meeting someone for the first time. A breeze brought him the smell of clover- the sweet-smelling world beyond his fence. '_Well_,' he thought. '_I've got a new friend, all right. But what a gamble friendship is! Kurenai is fierce, brutal, scheming, bloodthirsty- everything I don't like. How can I like her, even though she is pretty and, of course, clever_?'

Gaara was merely suffering the doubts and fears that often go with finding a new friend. In good time he was to discover that he was mistaken about Kurenai. Underneath her rather bold and cruel exterior, she had a kind heart, and she was to prove loyal and true to the very end.

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A/N: For a recap of characters and which is which, here's the list:

Gaara - Wilbur : A white pig with black eye marks and a tuft of red hair on his tail.

Kurenai - Charlotte: A big gray spider with red eyes.

Sasuke - Templeton: A gray rat with red eyes.

Hinata Hyuuga - Fern Arable

Neji Hyuuga - Avery Arable (Here, Neji really is Hinata's brother, neither Hizashi nor Hanabi exists in this universe.)

Hiashi Hyuuga - John Arable

Shikaku Nara - Homer Zuckerman

Yoshino Nara - Edith Zuckerman

Konan - The Goose: Pretty much your garden-variety goose.

Nagato - The Gander: Also an ordinary gander.

Kakashi - Lurvy (Ironic that a lazy rancher [Shikaku] could only have an equally lazy ranch-hand.)

That's all folks!


	6. Summer Days

**Kurenai's Web**

_Summer Days_

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The early summer days on a farm are the happiest and fairest days of the year. Lilacs bloom and make the air sweet, and then fade. Apple blossoms come with the lilacs, and the bees visit around the apple trees. The days grow warm and soft. School ends, and children have time to play and to fish for trout in the brook. Neji often brought a trout home, warm and stiff and ready to be fried for supper.

Now that school was over, Hinata visited the barn almost everyday, to sit quietly on her stool. The animals treated her as an equal. the sheep lay calmly at her feet.

Around the first of July, the work horses were hitched to the mowing machine, and Mr. Nara climbed into the seat and drove into the field. All morning, one could hear the rattle of the machine as it went round and round, while the tall grass fell down behind the cutter bar in long green swathes. Next day, if there was no thundershower, all hands would help rake and pitch and load, and the hay would be hauled into the barn in the high hay wagon, with Hinata and Neji riding at the top of the load. Then the hay would be hoisted, sweet and warm, into the big loft, until the whole barn seemed like a wonderful bed of timothy and clover. It was fine to jump in, and perfect to hide in. And sometimes Neji would find a little grass snake in the hay, and would add it to the other things in his pocket.

Early summer days are a jubilee time for birds. In the fields, around the house, in the barn, in the woods, in the swamp- everywhere love and songs and nests and eggs. From the edge of the woods, the white-throated sparrow (which must come all the way from Kumo) calls, "Oh Kirabi, Kirabi, Kirabi!" On an apple bough, the phoebe teeters and wags its tail and it says, "Phoebe, phoe-bee!" The song sparrow who knows how brief and lovely life is, says, "Sweet, sweet, sweet interlude; sweet, sweet, sweet interlude." If one enters the barn, the swallows swoop down from their nests and scold. "Cheeky, cheeky!" they say.

In early summer there are plenty of things for a child to eat and drink and suck and chew. Dandelion stems are full of milk, clover heads are loaded with nectar, and the Frigidaire is full of ice-cold drinks. Everywhere there is life; even the little ball of spit on the weed stalk, when poked apart, has a green worm inside it. And on the underside of the potato vine are the bright orange eggs of the potato bug.

It was on one of those early summer days that the goose eggs hatched. It was an important event in the barn cellar. Hinata was there, sitting on her stool, when it happened.

Except for Konan herself, Kurenai was the first to know that the goslings had finally arrived. Konan knew a day in advance that they were coming- she could hear their weak voices calling from within the egg. She knew that they were in a desperately cramped position inside the shell and were most anxious to break through and get out. So she sat quite still, and talked less than usual.

When the first gosling poked its grey-green head through Konan's feathers and looked around, Kurenai spied it and made the announcement.

"I am sure that every one of us here will be gratified to learn that after four weeks of unremitting effort and patience on the part of our friend Konan, she now has something to show for it. The goslings have arrived. May I offer my sincere congratulations!"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" said Konan, nodding and bowing shamelessly.

"Thank you," said Nagato.

"Congratulations!" shouted Gaara. "How many goslings are there? I can only see one."

"There are seven," Konan replied.

Kurenai beamed. "That's wonderful! Seven is a lucky number."

"Luck had nothing to do with this," said Konan. "It was good management and hard work."

At this point, Sasuke poked his nose from his hiding place under Gaara's trough. He glanced at Hinata, then crept cautiously towards Konan, keeping close to the wall. Everyone was watching him for his was not trusted, not well-liked.

"Look," he began sharply. "You say you have seven goslings, but there were eight eggs. What happened to the other egg? Why didn't it hatch?"

Konan shrugged. "It's a dud, I guess."

"What are you going to do it?" Sasuke continued, fixing his sharp, red eyes on the goose.

"You can have it," Konan replied. "Roll it away and add it to that nasty collection of yours." (Sasuke had a habit of picking up unusual objects around the farm and storing them in his home. He saved everything.)

"Certainly-ertainly-ertainly," Nagato quipped. "You may have the egg, But I'll tell you one thing, Sasuke, if I ever catch you poking-oking-oking your ugly nose around our goslings, I'll give you the worst pounding a rat ever took." At this, the gander opened his strong wings and beat the air to show his power. He was strong and brave, but the truth was, both Konan and Nagato were worried about Sasuke, and with good reason. The rat had no morals, no conscience, no scruples, no consideration, no decency, no milk of rodent kindness, no compunctions, no higher feeling, no anything. He would kill a gosling if he could get away with it- Konan knew it. Everybody knew it.

With her broad bill, Konan pushed the unhatched egg out of her nest, and the entire company watched in disgust while the rat rolled it away. Even Gaara, who could eat almost anything was appalled. "Imagine wanting a junky old rotten egg!" he muttered.

"A rat is a rat," said Kurenai. "She laughed a tinkling little laugh. "But, my friends, if that ancient egg ever breaks, this barn will be untenable."

"What's that mean?" asked Gaara.

"It means that nobody will be able to live here on account of the smell," Kurenai answered. "A rotten egg is a regular stink bomb."

"I won't break it," snarled Sasuke. "I know what I'm doing. I handle stuff like this all the time."

He disappeared into his tunnel, pushing the goose egg in front of him. He pushed and nudged until he succeeded in rolling it into his lair under the trough.

That afternoon when the wind had died down and the barnyard was quiet and warm, Konan led her seven goslings off the nest and out into the world. Mr. Nara spied them when he came with Gaara's supper.

"Well, hello there!" he said, beaming all over. "Let's see… One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Seven baby geese. Now isn't that lovely!"


End file.
